What have I done to deserve this...

Okay, so I'm not complaining. Actually I'm wondering how I could be so loved. I have been blessed in so many ways, so many times, that I'm beginning to think that I must have something really important still to do. Weather it's raise my kids, or help my husband through school I don't know but I'm grateful for every moment I have. I can honestly say that if I had been born 100 years ago I wouldn't be here, maybe even 75 years, possibly 50. I started thinking of all the reasons I shouldn't be here

1. Rogam - My mom does not have the rh factor in her blood but I do. While she was pregnant her body should have attacked me and killed me before I was even born but because of the wonder drug Rogam I am not only alive but was born healthy and happy. 8 lb 8 oz healthy to be exact.
   
2. Penicillin - I had strep throat and tonsillitis so much when I was a child. I remember getting it almost every month during my childhood up until I was 11 when I had my tonsils out. I'm almost sure that if I had been born in the time before antibiotics I would have come down with scarlet fever and died. Unfortunately I'm now allergic to Penicillin, Amoxicillin and other antibiotics from overusing them but I am so grateful they were there when I needed them.
3. Head Injury - When I was 11 I also flew off a skateboard ramp with a scooter and landed face first in the sidewalk. The goose egg on my forehead was the size of a softball,with two black eyes and half of my face completely scraped so it looked like raw meat. For years I was upset that my parents never took me to the emergency room until I found out that they did, I just don't remember it. I have not long term effects, no concussion they could see and all my scars healed extremely well. What a miracle.
   
4. Car crash - Right before Dave and I were married a women with no insurance, license and who had a warrant out for her arrest ran a red light going 45 miles per hour and smashed into my side of the car. I mention this because the police officer told me that if she had hit the car a little bit farther forward she would have smashed me in the car but instead she got the backseat. Dave and I walked away with a great story instead of having to rush me to the hospital.
5. Pre-Eclampsia - When I had Lily my blood pressure became dangerously high near the end of my pregnancy. My doctor didn't catch it until the late stages and put me on bed rest for only the last few days of my pregnancy. I gained 10 lb in one week because of water and I can remember seeing everything in double vision because I was retaining so much water. When we finally got to the hospital the doctors and nurses were scrambling to help me. One of the nurses told me I'm the closest she had seen have it that didn't start having seizures. Instead I had a beautiful 5 lb 5 oz baby girl.
6. Kidney Infection and Abscess - Wow, I'm lucky to be alive. I was so sick but I still thought it was a virus and yet I felt I should go to the hospital. The E.R. tested for Meningitis but couldn't figure it out and gave me the option to go home. I so badly wanted to but felt I should stay. Spent two nights with the Dr's saying they were going to send me home because they couldn't find anything and it probably was a virus but they kept me. On the third day they did a CT scan on my abdomen because I said I had a slight twinge and they found the abscess. I am so lucky to be alive. SO LUCKY! Everything should have gone a different way and yet it didn't. It happened almost perfectly to save my life.

Now I know I am hardly unique in near death experiences. I think almost everyone has a story or two why they shouldn't be here but I seem to be adding to many stories to my list. These are the 6 I know should have killed me and would have, in most instances, if I'd been born in a different generation; but I wonder most - why was I saved. I know I am loved and I know I am watched out for I just wish I knew why. I have been trying to be a better person to live up to God's expectations of me. I'm not sure I'm worth it but he thinks I am so I better do something to prove him right.